Movie Review: Python II / AKA: Snakes, Mankind Has Found a New Enemy – 2002 – directed by Lee McConnell

Posted: February 9, 2013 in Creature Features
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This review is an edited / rewritten version of the first film review I ever wrote (hopefully with much better grammar)  and is based on the UK DVD release of the film……..

Yet another creature feature produced by the ‘great’ Phillip Roth.

Who is Phillip Roth? I here you ask…

Well, over the last 10 or so years Phillip Roth has lent his producing hand to numerous creature features, this film included. He seems to have a knack for finding films that have the possibility of being quite good and therefore in terms of creature features, he is the name to look out for. This is one of the reasons I got excited about ‘Python II’ the third film in the kind of ‘Python VS Boa’ quadrilogy. The first of these films Python, starred the great acting talents of Robert Englund, Casper Van Dien, Will Wheaton and William Zabka (the bad kid from ‘Karate Kid”). It was a great film, full of fun and some great sequences of suspense (not to mention sheriff Python the Bomb Defusing Snake – you’ll understand when I review it.)

The second film entitled either ‘New Alcatraz’ or ‘Boa’ starred the great Dean Cain (the New Adventures of Superman) it was very different form ‘Python’ in the fact it was set in a giant underground prison in the middle of Antarctica. (Like ‘Python’ I plan on reviewing this film at a later date) Needless to say, the film was again a great piece of fun filmmaking and was this time directed by Phillip Roth. It had its flaws, but was still highly enjoyable.( This one featured Deputy Boa the Parachuting Snake – again you’ll understand later)

This brings us to the third part in the series which ids entitled Python II (although the UK DVD release is entitled ‘Snakes: Mankind has found a new enemy’ – worst title ever. I have no idea why as it just made finding ‘Python II’ that much harder. when I finally realised it was the third part I just found myself getting annoyed with the UK distributors. They also have trouble with roman numerals on the case writing world war 111 instead of III. It’s little thing#s like this that make reading DVD boxes amusing.)

The film semi continues on from the previous Python film. I say semi as it is only really a sequel by name and some of the actors (namely William Zabka reprising his role as Greg Larson, the sheriff). Zabka is possibly the only ‘good’ thing in this film, but that is only because they’ve changed him from a good guy to the main human villain of the picture.

Where the original film proved to be amusing for almost its entire run time (mainly due to the wonderful Robert Englund), this one fell to pieces during it’s opening scenes. Gone are the following:

  • Amusing one liners
  • Casper Van Dien’s hilariously bad russian accent
  • Some pretty good acting for a creature feature
  • Sheriff Python the bomb defusing snake (who is also a master of disguise)

What we are left with is a boring ‘Ten Little Indians’ like story of a commando unit trying to capture an 85 foot snake that is running (slithering) loose in an underground military base.

The film begins with an overlong sequence where a military unit are trying to capture the giant snake of the title in a 6 foot long box. (the snake is clearly far bigger than 6 foot. I have no idea of how they plan on fitting it in. Even if they cut it up I still think it would be far far to big. If they had numerous 6 foot boxes I may understand but they don’t.) The sequence reuses the same death footage again and again to give the film a longer running time. The opening should be enough to tell you what you’re getting yourself in for.

After this it is essentially the same plot as the first film, just in an underground bunker kinda like Boa in fact, albeit with a worse script, worse CGI and worse acting. The only promising moment in the film is when Zabka returns towards the end, but even he can’t make up for what’s come before. ( it is amazing how the special effects are worse than the first Python film made 2 years previous.)

Before you say; ‘This sounds like the perfect film to watch over beers!’ It’s not. I watched it with a 2 other friends (all of us usually enjoying this sort of film) One friend fell asleep while me and my other friend discussed how we would have made a better film (we still plan on making our version).

To round this whole thing off I’d say that the film has no real redeeming qualities and really isn’t worth the time. You’re better off just watching the first two films in the series and imagining a third which focuses on sheriff Snake and his newly opened Bomb defusal business, which may or may not be set all across the globe. (Please someone make this film).  2/10 (It’s still better than some films I’ve seen and does feature a giant albeit poorly CGI’d snake)

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